


» the valley of your heart

by filzmonster



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Canon/Rare/Crack: Ships, Gen, M/M, Pandora Hearts Month, This was written for the Pandora Hearts Month on tumblr, Week Two, YOLO, also i'm an emotional mess atm so this probably doesn't make much sense, look at me, writing Breakbert like it's 2k13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 07:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12076371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filzmonster/pseuds/filzmonster
Summary: » But now there’s all that potential between them. An endless amount of possibility. Their own little collection of multiverses. And Break knows it’s only a matter of time until he gives in, until he lets himself be swept away by that force of nature that is Gilbert Nightray.





	» the valley of your heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This was written for the Pandora Hearts Month event on tumblr (https://pandorahearts-month.tumblr.com). This week's theme is Canon/Rare/Crack: Ships. So of course I had to go and write something about Break/Gilbert. It's been a long time since I've written about them, though, so this is probably weird. But, whatever. Enjoy!

» i know the shame in your defeat;  
but i will hold on hope;  
and i won't let you choke on the noose around your neck;

 

 

In hindsight, he probably should have expected something like this.

Partly because nothing is ever going as smoothly as Break wants it to. And partly because Raven is a very powerful chain and Gilbert is just a little boy (except that he is not; not anymore).

It should have been a part of his calculation, but it wasn’t (too many things with Gilbert aren’t these days), and so it’s quite a surprise when Gilbert suddenly collapses in the middle of their conversation. Just – straight out faints; closes his eyes, falls to his knees in a haze of black feathers and then tilts to his side, obviously unconscious. For a long, awkward moment Break can only stare at him, curled up on the floor in his Pandora uniform, surrounded by Raven’s feathers.

Then he curses.

This is inconvenient and annoying, because he probably shouldn’t let Gilbert just lay there. Which means that now he has to somehow drag him to the settee and make sure he’s comfortable. It’s quite a nuisance since Gilbert is already taller than Break and _heavy_ and Break may be just a tiny bit worried about him.

Of course he’s figured out by now that Gilbert’s sudden unconsciousness has something to do with Raven – the black feathers are a giveaway – but it’s still not _normal_ for someone to collapse after using their chain during a mission. Break only knows of three other chains that have a similar effect on their contractors, including himself. He has a right to be worried about it. (He’s very good at talking himself into believing this.) He’ll have to force an explanation out of his subordinate when he’s regained consciousness again. He’ll also have to scold Gilbert for not telling him sooner about this. For not telling him _at all_.

Once Gilbert is carefully draped over the settee in Break’s office, all Break has left to do is sit down in front of him and wait. He _could_ do some paperwork, but it’s simply more fun to stare at Gilbert’s face and occasionally poke his cheek or pinch his nose or see how many candies he can balance on his forehead (twelve).

He can also spend the time watching Gilbert, _really_ watching him. Not just steal a glance every now and then or shoot him an annoyed look or stare him down when he’s being particularly stupid with his persistent Master issues. Just simply watch him without having to be suspicious of something or careful to not be detected.

He’s looking at him and he sees the deep shadows under his eyes and the exhaustion in the corner of his lips and the sorrow in his frown and the sadness in his pale skin, the age in his cut jawline and the beauty in the frame that is his face. He sees the faint freckles around his nose and the white teeth between his slightly parted lips, not stained yellow by coffee and cigarettes yet. His tangled locks are sticking to his sweaty forehead, falling down around his neck and whipping in the rhythm of his heavy breathing. The gold of his ear clip is catching and reflecting the dim twilight of the late evening sun.

Break knows that someone with a more romantic soul would wrap this kind of watching up in a nice metaphor; _he_ _is_ _looking at Gilbert like he_ _is_ _looking at a_ _magnificent_ _painting_.

But for Break this is something more simple. He’s looking at Gilbert like he’s in love.

There, now he’s thought it.

The unspeakable thing.

Gilbert conveniently chooses this moment to wake up with a flutter of his eyelashes. He stares at Break with a blank expression, his eyes dull and lifeless. Seeing but not seeing. He blinks a few times, his eyelids opening and closing slowly.

Break knows tiredness when he sees it. Knows when the tiredness has settled down in more than just skin and bones. Knows when it’s wrapped it’s cold and heavy fingers around a beating heart and a troubled mind.

He recognizes it in Gilbert’s clouded gaze, in his lazy movements when he raises his left hand and flexes his gloved fingers curiously, as if he expects them to not listen to his silent command. In his confusion when he tilts his head only to find Break sitting on the floor next to him.

Gilbert opens his mouth to say something, but Break beats him to it.

“You knew you would faint”, he accuses him. “You should have told me.”

Scolding Gilbert is always fun because he has this tendency to blush in this very pretty shade of red that makes him look like he’s fourteen and utterly helpless again. It’s this combination of shame and anger and guilt (and lately, there’s been something else, too. Something Break doesn’t dare to name yet.)

Gilbert closes his mouth, then opens it again. “I didn’t think you’d care”, he says softly, slurring the words ever so slightly.

And for a second, just for the fracture of a heartbeat, Break hates him. Him and his sickening honesty. And his self-pity. And his wallowing in grief and guilt.

And the fact that he’s just like Break.

That he went on God knows how many missions without proper back up and used his chain, knowing very well that it would make him faint. Break thinks about today’s mission and Gilbert’s report and how _close_ he’s come to fainting _during_ the mission – he’s been in Break’s office for less then ten minutes.

And Break can’t help but think that Gilbert might be very good at taking care of others, but he’s very bad at taking care of himself. Which is a problem, now that _Break_ has started to care about Gilbert.

“Don’t be stupid. This is a liability. _Of course_ I care about it”, he snaps and baths in cruel satisfaction when Gilbert shies away at the anger in his voice.

Gilbert doesn’t dare to meet his eyes so he just closes them and deflates, having the fight drained out of him.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have told you that I pass out after using Raven’s power.”

Making Gilbert admit that was surprisingly easy and Break blames his subordinate’s exhaustion. He’s also not even trying to sit up or move in any way, which is also a measure for how strained his body must be.

“You’re useless. And no fun ~”, Break teases and grins sharply when Gilbert flinches. Making him uncomfortable is as simple as making him irritated and Break enjoys it. He likes that he can play Gilbert like an instrument. He likes that Gilbert lets himself be played like that.

Right now Break doesn’t feel like giving a performance, though. He’s more concerned with Gilbert’s shallow breaths and tightly shut eyes. He’s clearly still exhausted, and maybe it’s not just from using Raven’s power. Maybe it’s the weight of everything else he’s had to carry around for the past years, finally catching up with him.

Break decides; he can be easy on Gilbert for one evening.

He leans forward and carefully tugs at Gilbert’s jacket. Gilbert’s eyes immediately snap open in indignation.

“W-What are you doing?!”, he yelps embarrassed.

“I’m obviously freeing you from your uncomfortable jacket”, Break replies immediately. “Don’t make such a fuss about it.”

Gilbert just glares at him. Break bites back another comment.

Like: _it was me who forced you to wear it in the first place and a part of me is very sorry about that._

Gilbert very reluctantly lets himself be pulled out of his uniform jacket, but when Break starts to undo his scarf, too, he starts complaining again.

“Shut up. Let someone else take care of you for once.”

Break surprises them both into silence and for a moment it’s like they are on hold – unmoving. Then Gilbert’s lips curl up into a careful smile.

“You’re one to talk.”

Break huffs and sulks, but at least Gilbert falls silent and lets him continue.

It’s nice, being close to Gilbert like that. Being kind, being able to pour affection into his touches. Even if it’s just for a short, cut-off moment.

This isn’t their usual reality, not their usual brutal dance around each other’s wounds and scars.

This is something new, something that’s only recently started to develop. That shift in their dynamic. That _tension_.

Break can’t even pinpoint the exact moment he’s stopped seeing Gilbert as a little boy and started to see him as someone desirable.

But now there’s all that _potential_ between them. An endless amount of possibility. Their own little collection of multiverses.

And Break knows it’s only a matter of time until he gives in, until he lets himself be swept away by that force of nature that is Gilbert Nightray.

Without really thinking about it he reaches out to stroke a messy dark hair out of Gilbert’s face. His fingertips tingle where they touch smooth skin.

“Look at you”, Break says softly, honesty spilling out of him like blood from a cut. “You’re so young. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”

Gilbert closes his eyes and takes a shaky breath, slowly leaning into Break’s touch, his lips brushing against Break’s wrist.

“I’ll get him back, right?”, he asks quietly, choking on the fear behind those words.

“Of course you will”, Break reassures him. _I’ll make sure of that._

 


End file.
